everyday is an adventure

2009-03-23T22:05:00.001-04:00

Every once in a while, I get an urge to run - to just keep driving and see where I end up. I've only given in once, and I made it to the other side of the world.

2009-03-08T21:26:00.002-04:00

Today was a beautiful day in Georgia. I'm having a hard time typing because the fingertips on my left hand are quite sore. I sat in Piedmont Park and played guitar for about an hour while Kerry, David, and Ben tossed a football over my head. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and I was singing. I even tossed the ball around for a little bit. I got progressively better at it as time went along.

Before we hit the part, we went over to Hand in Hand in the Highlands for cheap beer and pub food. Their fish and chips is really good - almost as good as Hooley's in Guangzhou. I introduced them to the Skittle game where you ask a yes/no question and let three colors of Skittles decide the answer. I've not met anyone who doesn't like that game.

I really can't get over how gorgeous it was outside! The nice temperature and breeze were perfect. The kites in the park were so nice. There were also lots of cute children there that entertained us.

Last night was Jennifer's birthday party. I went to her place around noon and helped cook. She let me do all the fun jobs while she did all the hard ones. We made so much food. I assembled the dirt cake and helped make cream puffs. The food was really good and I think everyone had a good time. I know that I did, especially after the red wine.

Here's a picture of me, Kerry, Jesse, Brad, and Jennifer. I'm trying to make a disgusted look at the state of Jesse's hair, but I couldn't stop smiling.

2009-03-04T15:51:00.003-05:00

I have been inundated recently with funny things from YouTube. It makes me very happy. The funniest thing, by far, is "The 'Yes' Dance". It's quite vulgar, but there's a certain part of it that is incredible.

I'm trying to teach Eli the "Let's Do the Fork in the Garbage Disposal".

Also, this week, I stumbled across the comedian Tim Minchin. He sings really funny songs. The first one I saw is called "Taboo"

If you rearrange the first three letters of the word he's singing about, it takes it to a whole new level.

I watched pretty much every video on YouTube that had his name in it. He's very talented. One of my favorite songs in the world is "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen and he does a version that has become my favorite. It's absolutely breathtaking.

2009-02-18T15:26:00.003-05:00

And now, for the most amazing story.

I have to say that it's honestly better in person, and if you want me to tell it to you in person, just ask, because it's hilarious. And some of you may have heard it, but here it is again in case you wanted to tell your friends and needed the cliff notes.

As many of you should know, I got back from China in early December after nearly 11 months. Since then, I'm been working on taking the GRE, getting into grad school, and trying to find a job. Job searching right now isn't the greatest thing in the world. Let's face it - the economy is le sucky and people just aren't hiring. They especially aren't hiring red-haired Tech graduates who've worked in China.

So Friday, January 25, I'm doing my daily Craigslist.org check of what people have posted. I've sent in dozens of resumes and cover letters and I've almost gotten it down to a science. I find a listing for an executive assistant for a company that sells "ear candles". I had no idea what ear candles were, but I check their website and I do a quick send off of my resume and a little bit about me. On Saturday, they sent me a questionnaire asking all sorts of strange questions like:

"We are looking for a mature individual to work with our current team and our goals. How do you believe a leader should lead?"

and

"What is your opinion of holistic health care? Do you have any experiences with it? If so, please share."

and

"What is your opinion of home schooling?"

I found some of the questions a little strange, but I need a job, so Monday I filled out all the answers and send it back to them. Tuesday afternoon, a lady calls me and sets up an interview for the following morning. Being a good job-seeker, I spent a good part of the afternoon checking into them. I come upon this little treasure:

"We are not just selling a product we are living a lifestyle!

Remember, Earth is ours to take care of. We have obligations and responsibilities to fulfill to the Earth. We homeschool, we birth our children at home, we do not vaccinate, we garden organically, we recycle, we do not watch t.v., we believe in the natural lifestyles of living. We are true to ourselves."

I was like, "THEY DON'T VACCINATE??!!? THEY BIRTH THEIR KIDS AT HOME?!?"

But again, I really need a job. So, I get the directions to their office, make sure Kevin has a copy and make him promise to come with his pistol if I don't come home by 2PM.

Next morning, I get up early, get dressed, and leave in plenty of time to get there. I'm on all these dirt roads in the middle of nowhere and I can't find it. I call Kevin, get him to guide me using satellite imagery, get lost a little more, the interviewer ends up calling me and I finally get there - 30 minutes late. Luckily everyone gets lost on their way to the compound (as I like to call it), so they were very understanding.

I go in, I'm talking to her - "Doc Harmony", and let me tell you, I turned on the charm. I mean it's "A"-game central, and you know what that means. She's so nice and interesting and has a very unique background, well-traveled - everything. On my resume it says that I've worked in ministry before and at one point she says something to the effect of "you know, we have a lot of respect for Jesus, and Muslims, and Mormons. . ." So I asked her, "Well, what are you and your husband?" She responds, "We're very spiritual and we practice a lot of Wiccan traditions." In my head, I'm like "Great - they're witches. Where are the broomsticks?"

She goes on to explain a little bit about Wiccans and she assures me that they do not impose their beliefs on their workers, so that made me feel better.

I go around and meet everyone in the office. They're all so nice and friendly and personable. They ask me questions and show me everything that they do. I get over to accounts payable and I'm talking to the lady and she mentions that they do all their transactions in cash. I thought that strange for a business that pulls in almost $7,000 a day. But whatever.

I get done meeting with everyone and I go back into Harmony's office (her real name is Michelle, I found out later that "Harmony" is sort of a stage name). She's talking to me, saying how much they like me and everything, and she says, "You probably realized that we do things little differently around here." I nod my head. She says, "Yeah, we pay our employees in GOLD AND SILVER." (emphasis mine) She even shows me some pieces of gold and silver. I thank her for the interview and then take my leave.

My dear reader, you might be thinking that I've lost my mind and that I'm making this up. Gold and silver?!? I assure you, I couldnt've made this up. I'm just not that creative.

Apparently it's a constitutional right to pay your debts in gold and silver. They're one of the three companies in the US that do this. It's a weird way to get around paying your taxes. You only have to pay on the face value of the monetary note that you pay your employees. So, for instance, paying with one silver dollar is like paying someone $10. But gold and silver?!?

I had a second interview with the company - this time with Harmony's husband, Kevin, was just as strange. He was very kind and quirky. He informed me about how he could move his hands in a certain pattern and speak in a certain rhythm and, in doing so, hypnotize me.

I hope you don't think that I'm taking the piss out of them. Because I'm not. I cannot stress how friendly these people were. I would have actually enjoyed working for them. I wanted the job. But they decided to hire someone within their office to do the job. They had even asked for me to contact them after two weeks (two weeks later is today) and ask how the person that they've hired are doing.

Harmony wrote back that the new girl was doing well and she ended by saying, "I really am glad you emailed us. Please keep us informed of your progress as things evolve in your life. We will be excited to see where life takes you."

Like I said, really nice people.

Today I'm home with Eli and I'm making brownies for someone I love. I have an interview tomorrow in Duluth to teach ESL and dinner plans with Jennifer.

Did I mention that I'm happy? I'll talk about that later.

So I hope you've enjoyed my tale and all it's craziness.

2009-02-13T16:05:00.006-05:00

When you spend all day with a 2-year-old, sometimes you forget how to communicate with adults. When I'm around people who are over the age of 10, I forget words, I tell them "NO!" in a loud voice, I make them hold my hand in parking lots - but people are being very patient with me and this problem I have. For that, I'm grateful.

After Wednesday, I'll post about the two job interviews I had with a natural healing company set way back in the woods of Carroll County. It's pretty priceless. Today I interviewed at Transition House, Inc. on Joseph E. Lowery Boulevard. It's the current job of my dreams. They run about eighteen 3/4-way houses in Atlanta. They take homeless people with drug and alcohol abuse problems and help them back on their feet. This is part of what I will be doing as a rehabilitation counselor in two and a half years. The lady working in the office today was Ms. Johnson. She has been in one of the houses for a year, yesterday. She was very kind and she was looking forward to watching her grand-nieces, nephews, and grandchildren for Valentine's day.

The person hiring for the job is having people come in for a day to work for her next week. I'll be getting a call on Monday about which day I'll be working. I really hope it works out as it would look incredible on any internship applications that I will be doing in grad school.

Last night I irresponsibly treated myself to a movie, "He's Just Not That Into You". I read the book ages ago - before it was popular. The author, Greg Behrendt, had a special on HBO called "Mantastic" where he talked about this beautiful toaster that he had. He also was a writer for "Sex and the City". He had a cameo in the movie as the minister who married Jennifer Aniston's sister. I thought the movie was great, and in light of it:

This weekend does promise some fun, though. Tonight I'm meeting up with the lovely Monica, Julie, and Hattie for the first Chinese food since my return. Then I'm off to Jennifer's for cookies and valentines with an evening-ender at Melissa's house. Tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut and ironed for a night-out with Kerry, Lauryn and whoever else wants to come where our only plan is to get into as much trouble as possible. Kevin said that he was heating up the baptistery at church so he could dunk me when I get back.

2009-01-14T22:22:00.002-05:00

Just a little short story from Wednesday night church.

At Southern Hills on Tuesday night, they started a new series last week where they go through the book of Acts week by week. This week was chapter 2, the story of Pentecost and the Holy Spirit. It gets to a point toward the middle of the chapter and people are speaking in tongues. Some people don't believe it and say that those people are just drunk. Peter tells them that there's no way that they're drunk, it's only nine in the morning.

Someone in the congregation yelled out, "It's five o'clock somewhere."

It was great.

In other news, being back in America is great. I forgot how much I love Atlanta. I took the GRE on Monday and that should pretty much get me into grad school in the fall. I'm applying for jobs all over the place and trying to figure out what to do. There's a career fair tomorrow that I'm going to grace with my presence. I'm hoping something will come out of that.

2008-12-15T14:54:00.002-05:00

Walking into the Jarrett house on Friday afternoon was like a walking past St. Peter and into heaven. I seriously felt like the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders as soon as I set eyes on Kari Jarrett holding Eli. Then Ethan came up and hugged me. It was then I knew that nothing is really wrong with the universe.

I did about six loads of laundry on Friday, went to Cracker Barrel with the family, and then came back and rested and relaxed. Saturday was also quite nice as I got up and went into Kevin and Kari's room, sat on the floor, and had Ethan and Eli crawl all over me as we watched a little kid-friendly TV.

Saturday night I had the pleasure of attending two holiday parties. Jennifer had quite the spread and it was really nice to sit and talk with Jesse. When I say talk "with" Jesse, it pretty much entailed me talking at him for an extended amount of time about why I came home from China. I have been so fortunate to be able to spend time with him since I've been home and he's like a breath of fresh air. He's a boy, and he's my friend, and he acts like it. He's kind and thoughtful and considerate. I told Kelly that if I didn't think he and I would be miserable together, I would totally go after him like he's never been pursued in his life.

From Jennifer's, I went over to Kelly, Jenn and Joanna's. I got to see Alli and Tyler - two people who I hadn't seen in nearly a year. Being around Tyler is probably one of my favorite things in the world. There's just something about that kid. I also saw Audrey, Leslie, Nelson, and Alysson, which was very nice as well. We played a game around midnight called "Zoom". It's supposed to be a drinking game, but I was driving home, so if you messed up, you had to stand up and say something positive about 2009. It was really nice.

Sunday was just a beautiful day. I got up. We went to church - a church that I really like and fully intend on becoming a member of within the next month. We came home. We ate lunch. I sat on the couch with KJ and got lost in the internet while he read. Eli slept, Ethan played. I cooked some dinner. We sat around as a family and watched TV. Eli walked around in my Crocs. I read to Ethan, scratched his back, lotioned him, and he went to sleep. Then there was tea and Criminal Minds. I ended my lovely Sunday by talking to Jesse on the phone.

I know it sounds kind of mundane, but I loved it. There was nothing that could have been added to make it better. It was normal and beautiful and wonderful.

Now it's time to get down to finding a job.

2008-12-07T12:41:00.000-05:00

This is, how they say, the way the story goes.

In January 2008 I boarded a plane Chicago, then another one to Sol, Korea, and finally one to Guangzhou, China. Upon my arrival in a very foreign land, I met Susan, someone who worked for my company. Her kindness and helpfulness overwhelmed me and made my first few days there very comfortable. I started working at a school – well, it’s actually a business – and met there and in that city some of the best friends I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

This is in no uncertain order. . .

Jane from Canada, eh? – Jane and I arrived in Guangzhou within hours of each other and did all of our first things together. We went and got cell phones, bank accounts, and visa pictures taken together. We visited the seven trees temple and ate pigeon together. She is quite a positive person and could always make me smile. She introduced me to Megan, her roommate, also from Canada.

Megan from Canada – my partner in crime – I met Megan at the French restaurant one night where I was meeting Jane. Her incredible personality can take over a room and I’m quite sure that she will one day take over the world. She and I became quite close both because we would get up to no good together and because we just got each other. We spent many-a-hour sitting at a café or in a bar talking about what life threw at us. Her counsel and friendship is priceless to me.

Liz Anhalt – from Chicago – or was she from a bumkin town two hours south of Chicago that no one knew about? – a.k.a. “Stop pulling your skirt over your head, we’re in public” – yes, she was the only one who made me pass out from laughing while in China. One night at a restaurant she was fed up with how her California roll fell apart, so, she picked it up, squished it in her hands, and shoved it in her mouth. She and I were instant friends and I honestly think she is one of my soul mates. My favorite night in China was where I and another friend broke her bed by jumping on it. Her gift to people is her comfort and I am thankful for all the times she saw tears in my eyes, opened her arms wide, pulled me close, and told me “It’s ok baby”. If she only didn’t have such a diabetic boyfriend.

Jamesssssss – from Ely, England – awww, that’s so cute, he’s shooting up! Is it heroin? No, it’s insulin. I saw him from across the room at a workshop and I wrote a note to Liz in which we agreed he was quite cute. That night, after bowling, I manipulated my gorgeous friend Louise into inviting him to our friend Kaytee’s going away party. He obliged and not too soon after that, I saw him mostly naked. It wasn’t much past that he and Liz started dating.

Louise Wain – guitarist extraordinaire – What a woman! How do I love her? Let me count the ways. . . I love her when she sings a song, I love her in the morning long, I love her in a crowded bar, I love her when we travel far, I love her while she’s in a mood, I love her when she’s being crude, I love her when she’s scared of bugs, I love her when she gives me hugs. . . I don’t know how it happened that I got so lucky to become her friend, but knowing her opened up my eyes to the world. The day that she left to go back to England was one of my saddest days in China.

Kaytee – Megan’s sister – she was only with us for a short while, but when she was there, she was there. Kaytee left China in August to go plant trees in Canada but before she left, she introduced us to both her beautiful self and the fabric market. She’s a very kind and loving person. She’s also someone that I could always get into trouble with, and I like that.

Stephanie from NORTHERN California came to me late in my year. She was kind enough to take over my apartment and that saved me a lot of money. She was also one of my dancing buddies that kept me going the past month as I waited patiently to return home.

Dan Elsworth or better yet, the most disgusting and goofiest looking man in the world hurled a whole lot of abuse my way. His idea of fun is to fart on people. That is not my idea of fun. But, he did plan pretty much all my adult classes for me because he bought the Cutting Edge books from the book center and I would always come to him and ask “What should I do with my RE10 class tomorrow morning?”

Rob “I’m a miserable bastard” Marchant – How much fun could I’ve had with out him? None, probably. Rob added a level of maltreatment and humor into my life that I had never seen before. No one has ever given me as much crap as him. He is one of the funniest people I have ever met and I will miss his cruelty.

Steven “The Hot Stepper” Walsh – from Dublin with the accent to prove it – I tried to explain my relationship with him to one of the new people, because it isn’t quite run-of-the-mill. In my explanation, I said that we are quite close, but we’re not that chummy. I wouldn’t call him just to chat or to go shopping, but we would sit down and try to solve all the problems of the world. When we talked, we talked about things that mattered. Thinking of him right now and knowing that it will be a while before I see his face makes me tear up a little.

Mike – laziest, most comfortable, most photogenic, strongest. . . man in the world. Mike was one of the best friends that I ever had. Liz, Louise and I almost turned him into a woman before the boys got a hold of him. I spent many nights sitting next to him in any number of bars listening and participating in conversations about Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Big Buildings, physics, theology, politics. . . pretty much anything under the sun. He was also the person who taught me that when you throw a dart backwards it quickly turns around and the pointy side hits always.

And so it ended, in the middle of a Tuesday night as I boarded a plane to Sol, Korea, and then to Atlanta where I met two of my oldest friends carrying a sign that welcomed me home.

2008-10-15T01:30:00.002-04:00

And then, the other night, at someplace sacred, I was talking to a friend of mine about some questions he was having about his current long-distance relationship. The advice I offered him was that, if he loved her, act like it.

You may say, no, it isn't that simple, but I assure you that it is. We get the choice every day of how we conduct ourselves. At lot of the time, we base our actions on what other people do. We deal out retribution in our own little ways - we don't call, we don't acknowledge, we decide to make them feel like we do. But do we have to?

The other week I was talking to my mother on the phone about a problem I was having with a friend of mine. My friend, as it seemed to me, was pushing me away and in doing so hurting me quite a lot. Her suggestion was to push the friend back. I asked her, "Why? What good could that do?"

Like they say, you have the opportunity in every situation to bring either a little bit of heaven or a little bit of hell into someone's life - especially with the people that you're closest too. Yes, people hurt you. You have to deal with that. But it reflects on you and your character as to how you react. Each person is a little house - and I want to get in. Fling yourself again and again at the front door, no matter how many times they slam it in your face.

2008-08-02T11:23:00.002-04:00

You never get any news from home. Well, here's some!

Yes, that is my sister, Taliaferro County School Teacher of the Year, Melanie Forehand.

My sister is TOTY (prononced "ta-tee").

This Monday night my company is paying for a Karaoke night. I'm sure I'll have some stories from that. Also, I plan on going to Hong Kong for the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games on next Friday. Otherwise, it's all friends, gym, guitar, and work.

2008-07-18T12:22:00.002-04:00

I hope you like my face of pain here. This picture was taken right after the guy on the right flicked a cockroach off my shoulder. Last night we went to Corner Bar down in south Guangzhou to have dinner. The food there is unbelievable. It's so cheap and it's all just amazing grilled things with lots of garlic. We were sitting there drinking and talking and I said that I felt something crawling on me. About that time he looked over and saw it on my left shoulder. He thumped it away, but I sat as a horrible shell of a woman for the next half an hour and whined. Today at the office we were talking about it and I still felt it on me. It was like the time with the rat.

2008-06-26T02:48:00.002-04:00

It's been a while, hasn't it? When I last left you, it was the beginning of June. So much time has passed between then and now and little has happened. I was tired of traveling, so I took a little break from it. I almost went to Thailand for a few days, but that fell through, much to my chagrin. Some things aren't meant to be just yet. While I don't have much to talk about, I would like to discuss my culinary exploits.

While DPH was back in America buying me an amazing push-up bra and new underwear, I really got into the cooking mode. I cooked dinner for everyone like 3-4 nights a week. What you don't understand is how small my kitchen is or how I only have one burner to cook on. It can be quite tricky. Therefore, I have to improvise. My favorite meal to eat is breakfast. I cook eggs, bacon, and either eggy bread (French toast) or pancakes. My favorite meal to cook is soup because it is so easy. We often do fancy sandwiches as well. The problem is that Camp is a very finicky eater so sometimes I have to make him his own special little meal.

My weeks now consist of going to the gym, going grocery shopping, teaching some classes, cooking, watching movies, playing with friends, going to Hooley's, going to Corner Bar, going to Hooley's, playing Uno, playing guitar, teaching some classes, winding people up, playing with my laptop, going to the salad place, going to the fabric market, reading, going to Hooley's, playing darts, going to the salad place, going to Subway. . . and over and over again. But it's fun because it's all with fun people.

2008-06-02T06:13:00.002-04:00

Shanghai, burning night cider trains, Hooley's, OH MY!

Shanghai was well fun. It was really great to see Hattie. I got there Monday morning and was so excited to see her cross the street to come get me with a huge bag of twizzlers in her hands. Heaven came down and glory filled my soul. We walked around for five days and ate Popsicles. Fun was had by all. I got home on Friday and went straight to Hooley's to see all my Guangzhou friends that I had missed so much. That weekend was a rough one for teaching - let's just say I love the movie "Ice Age". . . I also love "Ice Age 2 - the Meltdown".

The Sunday night we went out to Baby Face and danced and danced and danced. I could barely walk the next day, but it was totally worth it. We were supposed to be going to Macau, but we ended up going to Hong Kong instead. Burning night cider train to P.J. Murphy's, this Irish pub close to the hostel we always stay in. The whole three days, two nights was just hard work. Since then I've just been trying to recuperate. Last night I stayed on the roof until 4AM with Stepper and Jersey, then got up at 8:30 to meet Sneaky (from henceforth known as Mistress Whiplash) for Chinese class. We learned how to say "Will you dance for me?". I find it hilarious. Then we went to the gym and caned it for quite a while. I hope to be getting internet this week. That should be nice. And DPH is leaving for America tomorrow. We're going to miss her for two weeks.

I'm tired of traveling. I didn't even go and see anything in Hong Kong. All I've done for almost five months is travel and see things. I'm exhausted by it all. It's really nice not to have anywhere to go this week. I have two things to do tomorrow - fabric market and the gym. It should be restful.

Until next time.

2008-05-13T05:05:00.001-04:00

According to the news, some people felt the earthquake in Guangzhou, but not me. It was about 700 miles north of us. So stop sending me worried messages. Please and thank you.

I got my dress and it is beautiful and I love it. I want to wear it everyday. I'll put up a picture on Facebook for your enjoyment. I look HOT.

2008-05-05T04:45:00.003-04:00

What hasn't happened since I last wrote?

We have a new person in our little group and we all have matching braclets. We'll call him Camp for the purposes of this blog. He's English, that way Sneaky doesn't feel so alone.

I just got back Monday morning from Xiamen, China, on the East coast on the Taiwan Strait. It was really fun. We had four days off for Chinese Labor Day. At first we were all going to go to Hong Kong, but the closer it got, the less I wanted to go to Hong Kong. I told Sneaky this and we decided to go somewhere else. I knew that if I went anywhere with her, we would have fun. We tried to get tickets to Zhangjiajie, a really pretty place about fourteen hours to the north of Guangzhou, but there were no tickets available. Sneaky was a champ, though. She did not stop looking for a place for us to go. I did absolutely nothing except give her the money so that we could book the tickets. She finally found a sleeper bus to Xiamen and we said, "Yes, please!".

The thing was, though, that it wasn't leaving until a little past seven on Thursday morning. I suggested that we just stay up all night. She agreed. Baaad idea. We tapped out around 4AM and decided to have a little nap. It did not go well. We had agreed to meet in the lobby at 6:15AM. She called me at 6:08 asking if I was up. I was not. I hadn't even packed yet. I got up and threw some things in a bag to haul them downstairs. We made it, got on the bus, and got on our way to Xiamen. (Let me just say that the sleeper bus is the way to go. I slept so well on the bus. It's quite a narrow bed, but it works). On the way Sneaky made friends with some Chinese people who helped us find our hostel. They were quite nice. At the hostel we met our new best Chinese friend, Kenny.

Kenny: Where are you from?

Me: America. Where are you from?

Kenny: China

Me: Where are we? (Important to know that I was holding a map of the city at the time)

Kenny: Xiamen

Kenny is great. He's like Chuck Norris. Women ai ta. (Chinese for "We love him") We spent all day Friday with him on the island a ferry ride from the mainland. The island was nice. We got lots of nice pictures and lots of Chinese people came up to Sneaky and I to ask to take photos with us. It made me laugh every time. The ferry ride there was ridiculous. There were so many pushy people. Watching the gate close was scary. I thought someone would be crushed.

We met some other foreigners at our hostel from London named Len and Rob. They were quite fun. We spent all afternoon Saturday with them because they bought a guitar. Sneaky and I were both quite content. The two Londoners were quite the musicians. One is part of a group that composes music for British TV and documentaries. The four of us plus Kenny ended up going to the waterfront to hang out. I didn't go back to the hostel until 5AM. I had a really great time that I will remember all my life.

Sunday was the one-year anniversary of my last day as an employee of GTCCF and it made me sad.

I had keys to DPH's and TDJersey's apartments so when Sneaky and I got back Monday morning we went and ninja spooned them. It was the best idea ever. Monday night the new boy, Camp, had a house-warming party and it was well fun. He should do it again.

Yesterday we went to the fabric market and ordered dresses to be made for us. It's really exciting. I made the dress from my own head and I'm going to look HOT. Then the five of us got dressed up and went to dinner at the Brazilian steak house and it was so good. I'm excited for tonight, Jane (the Canadian) is singing at Hooley's open mic night and I'm going to watch!

2008-04-21T07:57:00.002-04:00

Wednesday night, as promised, we cooked dinner and watched a movie. Sneaky and I also broke DPH's bed by jumping on it. It was absolutely ridiculous. Then Sneaky proceeded to trip the breaker and smash a plate. Since we had to put the mattress on the floor, we all sat on it to watch the movie and it turned into candlelight wrestling. I have over two dozen bruises on my body from this. It was really funny. TDJersey is a lot stronger than he looks. Check the pictures on facebook of where I got elbowed in the chest.

Daddy's still in the hospital. They found out that he has some sort of an infection and they're just trying to figure out what it is and where he got it from so that they can treat it. He seems to be doing ok. I talk to him about twice a day - right when I get up and then before bed.

Thursday night we roof-topped again. Sneaky brought her guitar and fun was had by all. This weekend I had my three-month observation and it didn't go so well. Good thing my boss is so nice. She was so helpful in my observation review. Sunday I had a parents observation for my high-level Small Star class and one of the kids cried because she couldn't answer the question. It was so sad. Last night the fantastic four went out to the amazing French restaurant and then spent the night in playing card games. Today, one of my days off and the first time in four weeks that I've been home, I spent it laying in bed watching movies. Now I'm at Hooley's writing on my blog because they have free wireless. I walked in and the Hot Stepper was sitting in the corner drinking a beer by himself. How did I get so lucky as to run into the Hot Stepper?

2008-04-16T07:32:00.002-04:00

Part one - My dad's in the hospital
Saturday morning when I got to work I had an e-mail in my Inbox from my sister saying that I should call my mom because my dad wasn't feeling well. I freaked a little and then called. Apparently he had been having really bad indigestion and the doctor thought that it was his gall bladder. They scheduled him for a sonogram Monday morning. Monday morning, he goes in for a sonogram and they find out that it isn't his gall bladder. From there, they order a CT scan. Because of the time difference, it was my Monday night around midnight when I found this out. Me and TDJersey were at Stef's parents place in Macau for a little rest and relaxation. CT scan is a big word for someone on the other side of the world. The next morning for me (that night for them), I called back and they said that the doctor didn't see anything wrong with the CT scan, but the radiologist wasn't there to read it, so they would call as soon as they find out. Me and my friend went about our day, playing Mahjong with Stef's mom. It was about 10 or so last night for me (Tuesday morning for them) when I called my mom to find out that they were taking my dad to the hospital and that he has fluid around his heart and lungs. The fluid caused his heart beat to become quicker than it should be so he's in the hospital right now and they're trying to fix it. I've been keeping in good touch with them and nothing has changed as of right now. The doctors ordered a lot of tests yesterday and they should have some news this morning for them. Needless to say I am having a rough time with it here on the other side of the world. If you know me at all you know that my biggest fear is the mortality of my parents. So it's hard right now. I don't really know exactly what's going on because I'm not there. I slept probably about three hours last night because I kept running scenarios in my head about things that could happen. So not only am I upset today, but I'm also exhausted. Tonight the fantastic four of us (me, DPH, Sneaky, and TDJersey) are going to have dinner and cuddle.

Part two - Macau
Stef Coleman's parents are amazing. TDJersey and I had a really great time there. Right when we got there, which was about 11PM Sunday night, Kathy showed us to the kitchen and told us we had free reign. It was about then that my stomach started to hurt. It felt like someone had opened it up, pinched it with some pliers, and then started turning the handles. I tried to throw up once, twice, and the third time was the charm. I was absolutely miserable for about three hours. TDJersey and I tried to watch a movie, but after a little while I was over the porcelain throne again. I layed down after that to try to go to sleep, but the pliers kept twisting, so I went back out to the living room with a trash can and "watched" the movie. I kept my head in the bucket. About twenty minutes passed and I told TDJersey "Sorry" and I violently threw up into the bucket. Then I just passed out. I was fine the next day. I let him beat me at chess and then we went to lunch with Kathy and a few of her friends. I forgot what it was like to be around grown-ups. After that the two of us headed to the beach for a nice little stroll where we ended up at the Westin resort sitting outside sipping iced beverages for a while. That night we went to the Venetian where we watched people gamble, drank gin and tonics, and shopped for engagement rings. We intended on going out to a club or something, but we just went back to the Every's and watched a movie. He and I had some big dreams for the next day, but we ended up playing Mahjong for several hours with Kathy, visiting Toys R Us, and walking to a casino that we couldn't get into because he was wearing flip-flops. We did have a little foam sword fight at Toys R Us which I found well fun. Now we're back in Guangzhou, ready for another week of classes.

Part Three - the Hot Springs
Since our school is the fun school, they took us on an overnight trip south of Guangzhou to some hot springs last week. The thing that I want to say about it is that we got into this one pool where little fish come up and eat the dead skin cells away from you. It is hard to stay still as this tickles a lot. All the boys literally got in, screamed for their moms, and jumped out. It was embarrassing to watch. After our time in the springs we all went back to our villas and played a huge game of Mafia, by far the best game in the world. The narrator could have cut down on the amount of full beers she knocked over onto my shoes, however.

2008-04-04T02:38:00.000-04:00

This entry will come in several parts as I have not written in a while. Part one will cover my birthday celebrations, part two will cover the Friday that was one of the best days of my life and the third part will talk about the beauty that was our trip to Yangshuo.

Part One – Birthday extravaganza

My birthday started on Easter Sunday because that was TDJersey’s birthday. When classes were done, he and I were herded into the Small Star’s room for surprise cakes and cards. There were two cakes and everyone encouraged us to cut one together – you know, like the bride and groom do. It was too much for me. The whole ordeal was quite fun. I got a large card that said very inappropriate things about flicking the bean and such. After our little party we went to dinner at the Thai/Macau place close to the mall. Then to Hooley’s for a little while, then to Cave Bar, and finally a late night trip to McDonald’s where apparently I threw the spicy nuggets back over the bar and demanded normal ones. Monday night we took it relatively easily by going to the great French restaurant where we sat and talked about life then we christened the roof of our building. It’s a great view. It was much like porch sitting in the south and if there’s one thing that I like, it’s porch sitting. Tuesday I was going to get up and go sight-seeing, but I couldn’t be bothered. I slept all day and watched Nip/Tuck. That night we went to KTV (Chinese for karaoke). I decided it was Samantha’s birthday on the 25^th, so she went out full tilt. That crazy girl wore sunglasses all night. When we left from the KTV place, we went down near the river to try out the bars and clubs there. What we didn’t know was that to sit down you had to pay over 1000RMB ($150). We would have none of that. So we ended up going to Hill Bar. It was raining. I was wearing flip-flops and going down stairs. You do the math. I slipped and almost broke my ass. Here, over a week later, the bruise is still about as big as a grape fruit and light purple. It hurt pretty badly. It hurt so bad we had to do tequila shots when we got into the bar. At the stroke of midnight, they sang to me. It ended up being just me, Megan, and TDJersey sitting there and closing the bar. Then we came back to our apartment. We stopped at Seven-Eleven intent on buying more beer. Instead we bought Pringles and sat in my apartment and ate them. I just swept up the Pringles today. My actual birthday was quite fun as well. We had Subway for lunch then went to work. After work I got to choose birthday dinner and of course I chose Papa John’s! It was well good. Our new friend Mr. MciPhone joined us. What would a birthday be without a trip to the local pub, Hooley’s? Not much of one. It was at Hooley’s that I had my first and second ever Long Island Iced Teas. Wow. Ridiculous. We ended the night up on the roof listening to music, talking, and drinking more. Around two we lost DPH and Mr. MciPhone so it only left me, Sneaky, and TDJersey. We decided it would be a good idea to sleep up there. Platonic rooftop snuggling is good fun until the dew sets in. I didn’t sleep that much and the next day at work was nearly unbearable as we had all of these workshops to go to. The first one was with our top boss and let’s just say he’s animated. TDJersey and I looked like death warmed over.

Part Two – the great Friday

On Friday, March 28, 2008, I experienced one of the best days of my life. Sneaky and I awoke early and made our way to the computer city where I bought the most beautiful little laptop in the whole wide world. From there I attended a meeting while DPH and Sneaky went and joined the gym for me. Then we had lunch at the Italian place that has really great salads. After that Sneaky and I went guitar shopping for her. I got there and I had to have one. I now own a cute little Talent guitar with a cut out that sounds great. I spent lots of money in one day but it was beautiful.

Part Three – Yangshuo

It felt very last minute, but the teacher care group organized a trip to Yangshuo because of a new and not very publicized Chinese national holiday. It is one of the most beautiful places in the world. Google it if you don’t believe me. We went on a Pearl River Cruise in Guangzhou and from there we rushed to the bus station. I bought a bottle of whiskey for the bus ride and we weren’t even out of town before we started on it. The problem with drinking alcohol on a bus in China is that there is no bathroom. We were worried about it. So much so that I drank a bottle of water for TDJersey in case he had to pee. It was about 1:30 in the morning and I started to feel the urge. TDJersey and I were the only ones up, chatting about how Buddhist he is when I realized that I was at about 6 out of 10 of having to go to the bathroom. Then it rose sharply to an 8. It was the worse I ever remember having to pee in my life. We were discussing the logistics of how a girl would pee in a bottle. I was doubled over bargaining with God, begging for the bus to stop. It finally stopped; I ran out to the toilet and peed longer than I ever had in my life. Let me tell you about the bathroom. It was just one big room with about knee-high partitions between holes in the ground and disgusting. After that, I slept like a baby for about five hours. It wasn’t too long before sunrise and seeing all the mountains. Soon we were in Yangshuo, fresh off the bus and on the street straight to our hotel. Around twenty of so people approached us between the bus and the hotel to get us to buy things from them. The only thing I didn’t like about Yangshuo was the hassle of people coming up to me. That afternoon, everyone else went on a bike ride up to the moon rock while I got lost in the city. That night, after some dinner, we just went up to our balcony and drank beer while playing, again, never-have-I-ever. So fun. It was about three in the morning and Tree Planter, DPH, Sneaky and I decided to go for a walk. On our walk, I did three things I had never done. The first thing was that I snuck a beer into the club. The next was that I peed outside. Finally, we snuck into a restricted area. The next morning Sneaky, the Tree Planter, DPH and I got up early to go chill at a café and write in our journals. We found the Yak Café and for the rest of our trip to Yangshuo, it was our favorite place. That afternoon we had the pleasure of drifting down a river on bamboo rafts. It made me so grateful. DPH was my raft date and we sat there and talked about how incredibly lucky we were to be there at that moment. I thought about all the roads in my life that I had taken to bring me there and my heart was so full. When we got back, I went shopping. I bought a beautiful bag, earrings, and some Crocs. It was amazing. That night we went back to the Yak Café to play some board games and have dinner. We played the game Loaded Questions and it was ridiculous. Any opportunity we could find to take the piss at TDJersey for being Jewish, we did. Any miniscule ability to relate an answer to DPH’s pregnancy scare, we related. Any far-fetched way could reference Dirty South’s womanly regions, we referenced. After the game, we went to a bar and then back again to the balcony where we talked and played mafia. We wanted another late night walk, so we did that and upon our arrival back at the hotel, Tree Planter, DPH and I went to the boys room. We pushed the beds together and ended up in a five-way spoon. Platonic hotel snuggling is well good. We didn’t go to sleep until nearly 6AM and the next morning we met downstairs at half ten to go on another boat ride. This one wasn’t as fun because we were all so tired. At one point we stopped on a little island to sight see and I started the fun game of dropping rocks in people’s jacket hoods. It was a riot. I even got them in purses and pockets. I had DPH pretty wound up by the end of it. When we got back we all went to the Yak and just chilled. I finally finished the book that I had been reading for about a month and a half. It was horrible. Don’t ever read “The Little Friend” by Donna Tratt. I left it at the Yak with a note inside the front cover that said “Dear Grega, Thanks for a great night. – Paulo”. I hope it makes someone smile when they read it. The bus ride back was more than ridiculous. We decided to whiskey it again, but we bought a very small bottle. We drank it really fast and decided to buy some more at our first stop. The only thing we could find was this horrible drink called “Bai Jo”. It’s a Chinese drink that doesn’t taste very good. It got us to the point though, that TDJersey had his shirt off wearing the bras of Sneaky, Tree Planter, and DPH all at once. Then we went to sleep. There was nothing that could have beaten that. What was supposed to be a ten hour ride turned into thirteen and needless to say, when we got back, we were exhausted. I’m still feeling the ramifications of all the fun I had.

2008-03-23T03:49:00.002-04:00

I have found this Easter weekend to be very different from last year's. Last year I drove a van of college students to New Orleans and watched as nearly 500 people built a playground. Last Easter I spent half the day in a small park outside of New Orleans learning what resurrection really means and the other half driving back to Atlanta with my heart so full I couldn't bear it.

2008-03-19T04:22:00.002-04:00

Maybe it's because in my spare time, I like to waste time. Maybe it has something to do with me turning 23 in a week. But today, I got caught in the deep dark hole that is 46 facebook search pages of people who went to my high school. It was absolutely ridiculous. Oh how I hated high school.
In other news, the best restaurant in Guangzhou for the entertainment is Banana Leaf. The Thai lady boys sing and dance for you. I laughed so hard. TDJersey got hit on pretty hard by one of them. My heart was so full. As far as Thai food goes, it was alright, it's no Cow and Bridge, but it'll do. We got home and went to our separate apartments. I was settling in for a nice early night of relaxing at home (the first one in a long time). Ten minutes later TDJersey called and asked if I wanted to go to Hooley's because the hot Stepper and the Scotsman were there fresh back from their trip to Hong Kong. I said sure and we went over.
The hot Stepper is one of the funniest people I have met in my entire life. He has me rolling every time. I could listen to the story about the fastest pisser in the world over and over again. I can't wait to go to Hong Kong with him and create a diversion while he puts the Guinness hat on the statue of Bruce Lee and takes a picture.
In some conversation it was said that for my birthday, we're going to have the hot Stepper pop out of a cake. We told this to Stepper and he had the idea that it should be in a thong. But since he's Irish, when he says "thong", it sounds like "tong". Even better. Last night we came up with the idea of instead of a telegram, a Steppergram, where Stepper comes to your door with a message.
Paddy's night was a blast. It was really low key with just me, DPH, TDJersey and (I'm just trying this name out) Alabama (from Birmingham, England). We had a few beers at DPH's and then went to Paddy Fields where we closed down the bar. We met the owner's wife, Michelle, who looks Asian but has a pretty strong Irish accent. It wasn't what I expected.
Therefore, yesterday, I layed in bed until 1PM and then finally rolled out, showered, did some laundry (I had no clean/dry pants), and went to a coffee shop near my flat where I just sat, read, and wrote for about an hour and a half. It was quite pleasant. I'm quite content. And tonight I'm making chicken and dumplings for Wednesday night's dinner and a movie.

2008-03-14T01:10:00.002-04:00

Oh, it was great to hear Cher's voice last night. She's always a "pick me up" kind of person. Bowling last night with the EF family was so fun. I outbowled this one guy and I was doing all sorts of crazy moves like the granny, and backwards between the legs. I even kicked it down the lane one time (ow). I bowled like a 71, which is good for me. We went to C Union after and danced. It was so much fun. We had a waltz-off. Then around 3AM, when we got back to our building, we went to DPH's apartment for PB&J sandwiches. What that turned into was TDJersey, DPH, and I spooning and watching a movie. I was big spoon. We have a new girl that is moving into our building. She's from Birmingham, England! I don't have a name for her yet, but she's way cool. She had PB&J with us and she's going to be participating in Wednesday's dinner and a movie. There's also a guy moving in, but he's not working for my school, so he doesn't count. Our building is becoming quite popular. Time to plan for the weekend.

2008-03-12T02:29:00.002-04:00

Yesterday a few of my friends and I went down to the fabric market off Er Sha Island to do see what they had. It was beautiful. They had the greatest fabrics and you can get anything made. DPH has a beautiful dress that I want to have made for me in a different color. I also want to draw something out to have made for me. It really opened my eyes to what the world could really be like.
I've been out three really fun nights in a row. Sunday night was just ridiculous. Keeping with tradition, I had dinner at Cow and Bridge. After that, a few hours at Elephant and Castle where the hot Stepper was out in full force. He had us rolling. Then, we stopped off a Cave Bar where we played the drinking game "never have I ever". I've never played it as a drinking game. The only time I really remember playing that game was when we sat in a circle and if you had done it, you had to move over one chair. What that turned into was that you were stacked about four people high in someone's lap. I digress. We got in around four Sunday night and then DPH and I stayed up for another hour in my flat shooting the breeze.
I still haven't gotten a computer yet because of the lack of funds. It's making me very angry. But the good news is that the Americans in my building got the internet so I can go and use their computers pretty much whenever I want. And I do. I called my Daddy last night from DPH's. He got a new suit (the one we're going to bury him in) and it cost like $701. I have never ever known my father to spend that much on clothes. Que sera, sera.

2008-03-09T03:54:00.002-04:00

This is my alter-ego. Her name is Samantha. She looks a lot like me but is pretty invincible and insane.

So I have a bad cough/upper respiratory infection. I coughed all night two nights ago. Last night I drank like half a bottle of Chinese cough syrup and had really crazy dreams. One of the Chinese teachers, the Little Mermaid, gave me some pear juice to drink. She said that it was supposed to help my cough. Needless to say, it was disgustingly gross and I'm pretty sure it was a laxative and not a cough suppressant. Funny joke on me.

2008-03-07T01:12:00.002-05:00

DPH, TDJersey and I are bringing back the classic MASH game. We have added better grown-up categories, however. "STDs" and "Affair" are two of the new ones we came up with. We sat at our favorite pub, Hooley's, last night and did this. It was all TDJersey's idea, and that's what's funny. He's such a man's man. The manager at Hooley's is really great. He came and sat with us for my MASH reading. He was the winner of my "Affair" category, which I thought was funny. Last night before Hooley's TDJersey and I were sitting downstairs waiting on DPH when my friend Jane (the Canadian) called. We made plans to have lunch today and when I hung up TDJersey invited himself along. I told him that he was smothering me and that he was acting like we had been on two dates.
I love Jane (the Canadian). Lunch with her was great as always. She makes me so happy. Yesterday I learned a new and useful Mandarin phrase that means "I am a pervert." I went around practicing it last night and got some really funny responses. After lunch we MASHed some more and now I'm trying to get started with my planning. It's not going so well.

2008-03-05T00:18:00.002-05:00

I forgot to write about my date with TDJersey. Sunday night he, DPH and I were supposed to go Cow and Bridge, but DPH got sick, so it ended up just being me and him. He was the first one to make a comment about how it looked like we were on a date. I didn't say it first. I may have thought it, but whatever. Then last night we almost went on another date, but we got to the restaurant and our friends were there so we sat with them.

I bought a wig in Hong Kong yesterday. When I put it on I'm a completely different person. I wore it to the Atlantan's party last night. I'll put pictures up soon with me in it. It was a fun night, but there was too much rum. I spent the night in the hot Scotsman's guest bedroom and when I woke up I was really disoriented. I couldn't figure out why it was so loud in my apartment and why there was men's deodorant on my night stand.

I'm going to buy a new phone today because mine hasn't dried out.

2008-03-03T08:04:00.003-05:00

Once upon a time there was an adventurous girl named Dina who went to China and bought a Chinese cell phone. Oh, how Dina loved her cheap little cell phone. It was built for function, not form. It texted like a beast, and oh how it rang when people called her. When it rang, Dina's little heart would flutter and she would run to the phone and answer it (as long as it wasn't a creepy Nigerian guy). Even when she missed calls, the phone would tell her, and she could always call her friends back.

Now in China there was this evil queen named Chingy who loved to lead the foreigners astray. Chingy tried to make all the foreigners, like Dina, use the horrid squatty potties instead of the great Western toilets. The squatty potties were little holes in the floor where you have to squat way down to get rid of your body waste. But the Western toilets, even though they might be dirty, require less of a bend.

One day Dina listened to evil queen Chingy and went to the squatty potty. She forgot that her lovely little cell phone was in her back pocket. When Dina was using the squatty potty, her phone decided to take the plunge into the hole in the floor. What was Dina to do? She had no choice but to reach in a grab it. And it was all evil Queen Chingy's fault.

The End

My phone fell into the W.C. I'm hoping it will dry out so that I can use it. The funny thing is that I took it into my high level class of 13-16 year olds and got them to make up a story about why it didn't work. One of them got it right, and it was the group that asked to hold it and look at it while they were coming up with their story. Haha.

Last night I went to dinner with TDJersey and it was so much fun. DPH was going to come, but she started throwing up again. Then I went to Hill Bar until about 2AM. That was the third Sunday in a row that I ate dinner at Cow and Bridge and then went to Hill Bar. It is soon becoming a tradition. I awoke around 5:30AM to get a train to Shenzhen and then Hong Kong for my visa run.

Right now I'm in a hostel in Hong Kong because even though there are 1.3 billion people in China, they can only manage to find two to work in the visa office. I kid you not when I say that there were at least 300 people waiting in the waiting room. I got there and my number was 166 and they were on 95. Two hours later I made it to the window.

I did get to do something amazing, though - well, two things. One is that I found sticky tack. The other is that I went to Outback Steak House and it was incredible. Tomorrow I'm going to the visa office to pick up my visa/passport. Then I think I will take the tram up to Victoria's Peak, then back to GZ for the Atlantan's party.

2008-03-01T00:37:00.002-05:00

I taught one of my Chinese friends, Mindy, the colloquialism "hit it and quit it". It was absurd. That's a very hard phrase to teach because she kept wanting to know if it was a one night stand. I told her not quite. Just think about how you would explain it.

I had so much fun two nights ago at C-Union. We got there around 10:30 and danced to loud techno for a few hours. It was great. I always have a good time when I go there. I meet the most interesting people in China.

The two new teachers, DPH and TDJersey (Tall, Dark and Jersey), are moving into my building. I'm so excited. We went to dinner at Hooley's the other night (a seven minute walk from our building) after their long day of signing apartment contracts. I know how it is. They're so much fun. The other night we commited to spooning. We also decided to have big breakfasts together after long nights out. Poor DPH has a bad case of food poisoning right now. I think she'll live.

I'm going over to Jane's (the Canadian) tonight for dinner and I'm so excited. I need to go to bed earlier tonight than last night. Last night I stayed up until half past two watching Nip/Tuck. It is the raunchiest, most ridiculous show I've ever seen and I am hooked. I tried counting how many bare bottoms I saw on the show last night, but I lost count. It was absolutely crazy. It's so good.

2008-02-27T02:33:00.002-05:00

We have two new AMERICAN teachers at our school that are absolutely awesome. One's from Chicago and the other is from New Jersey. They're amazing. I've hung out with them a lot these past few days. What have I done this week? Well, I went out a lot, I've computer shopped (five more days!), went to the airport with Susan to pick up a new teacher for one of the SMART schools. I've been keeping busy. Now I'm at work pretending to plan my lessons for this weekend, but I'm really just e-mailing and thinking about how awesome my new computer will be - how amazing it's going to be to have internet at my flat and how I'll be able to video chat with my friends. I really plan on going all out as soon as I have internet. You'll probably get mad at me for calling you so often. Ok, I'm going to work for about two hours - like really work, not just pretend.

2008-02-20T23:34:00.003-05:00

AAAAHHH. The Nigerian guy is soooooo creepy. He won't stop texting and calling me, even after I texted him last night to say, and I quote, "Please stop calling. I'm not interested." It's starting to piss me off. I was so weak, so weak. . .

2008-02-20T03:52:00.002-05:00

I woke up at 6:30AM this morning. It's pretty much a regular occurence nowadays. I watched a movie and did some laundry. One thing I talked to Kathy Every about while we were in Macau was that in China, everything takes longer. I have no clothes dryer, so I have to hang my clothes outside. To go to the grocery store, I can't just hop in my car and go, I have to really think about it. I need to know how much I'm getting and where I can get it from. It's either a 30 minute trip or more than an hour and a half.

Speaking of grocery stores, yesterday I went to TrustMart, two bus stops from my apartment, just to kind of get out of the house. I wasn't in a very good mood, I didn't sleep well the night before and I woke up with a headache. I also had a lot on my mind. So, when the Nigerian man stopped me and asked for my number, I gave it to him. I was weak and tired and I didn't feel like being hateful towards him. But then he kept following me in the store, wanting to talk. He's called me about 5 times today and texted me as well. I haven't picked up the phone. It's soooooooooooo creepy. I usually like attention and everything, but African men are ridiculous. They see something they want and then go after it with all they have.

One thing I miss about my friends from the great state of Georgia is that they understand me and believe me when I say things. They understand that just because I think someone is great and constantly divulge that information doesn't mean I want to be their baby's mama. This comes from a 15 minute conversation at the bar two nights ago where everyone was accusing me, rather hostilely, I might add, of, for the lack of a better term, "fancying" one of my coworkers, the afore mentioned "Fan". Here's the deal people, I don't like him in that way. Another example of this misunderstanding is my use of the phrase "love you, mean it, more than friends". I know that I can't say that around new people because they won't understand that it's just a common farewell in my language. Other things that I do are also blatantly misconstrued but it's irking me to continue to write about it. These things probably only aggravate me because I'm bored and I need to 1. Get my computer fixed/get a new computer and 2. Find a new hobby. I'm no good when I'm bored. Idle hands are the devil's playground.

2008-02-15T02:13:00.002-05:00

I found out yesterday that one of my new friends here in China (we'll call him "Fan Belsworth")reads my blog through a proxy server. Now I can't talk bad about all the people I work with. I will, however, tell you about "Fan Belsworth". "Fan Belsworth" is the English version of Zack Stewart. If you know how much I love Stewie, then you have a good idea of how much I love "Fan Belsworth". He is so funny and so helpful. One day he made me my own chopsticks game and brought it to me. Then he made me a word search for my class. I didn't ask, he just did it out of the goodness of his heart. The first time he really made an impression me, he was saying that if one of his projects wasn't accepted, he was going to shit in the guy's hand. I almost died right there from laughing. He hasn't made me pass out yet, but he's gotten close. He's also very smart and quite knowledgable about ESL. He's been a wonderful help to me since I've started teaching. The other thing that really stands out is that when he asks you a question, he actually listens to the answer you give. It's quite refreshing. I quite often find myself talking to the other teachers about how awesome "Fan Belsworth" is. He's just so great.

2008-02-14T04:22:00.002-05:00

People, stop worrying. Nothing happened to me, I just don't have internet at my apartment and the school has been closed all week. I just ended my eight-day long holiday (vacation) that was the Spring Festival or Chinese New Year. I headed down to Macau for a few days to stay with Stef Every's parents. They were absolute gems. First thing Kathy did when we walked in was to tell us that she had heaters in our rooms. They were so warm and cozy. Then she fed us an amazing American meal complete with those Kathy Every rolls that everyone loves. We tittered around the city for a few days, hit up some museums and the ruin's of St. Paul's church there. It was really beautiful.

When I got back I went out to dinner with Jane (the Canadian) and Susan. A new teacher from America was also there, so that was refreshing. We ate on Shaiman island and then walked along the Pearl River for a little while. The next day, I jumped on the metro and went to Haizu Square. I then walked around for about four hours - ate a freshly cooked ear of corn from one of the street vendors - just strolled about life.

Monday I went over my friend's apartment to check my e-mail and stuff. Then we went off to buy her some art supplies. We get out of the metro station and see this Chinese girl carrying a bag of art supplies, so we pretty much kidnap her and get her to take us to an art store. Instead, she took us to an art studio, which was so cool. People were just sitting on the floor painting and sketching. Then we walked around for a bit and came back home. Tuesday, I went to a teacher's apartment who is about to leave China to see if I wanted any of her stuff. And I did, I took her mortar and pestle, it made me so happy. Tuesday night I went out with this teacher and some of her friends to C-Union where we drank and danced until about 3AM. It was so much fun.

Yesterday I went to IKEA and got a small bedside table and a few other things. Today I went to Subway (so delicious) and the Western foods store then came back and cleaned up my apartment. Jane (the Canadian) is coming over because she hasn't seen it yet.

Happy Valentine's Day.

2008-02-04T23:49:00.000-05:00

Opie, my dog, died today, so the e-mail from my sister said. Opie was a good dog. Memories - me saving his life when he had worms, all the worms he threw up on my bed, Melanie giving him to daddy after realizing he was too big for her house, him riding on the tractor, his bark, the way he shed all over me, him going Jeeping with Daddy, "Wanna go?", "Scat that cat", the way he was afraid of Chuckie, lower your hat and him cowering, that time he saved us all from a fire, how he couldn't be near you without touching you, how at around 40lbs he always wanted to sit in my lap, how he would always come meet me at the car when I came home, always wanted to jump on me, but almost always obeyed when I said "no", herding the cows. . .

I loved that dog.

2008-02-04T04:12:00.000-05:00

Today in class my 10-12 year olds had to create their own super heros. One boy, we'll call him Delvin, created "Pig Man". I asked, what is his super power. Delvin replied, "He eat shit".

I lost it.

2008-02-03T20:10:00.000-05:00

Hello all. I've had quite an adventure since the last posting. E-mail me to ask me about it. On Saturday I got home at 5:30 in the morning and slept until I didn't want to sleep anymore. Then I went to IKEA with my Canadian friend Jane. When I came back to my apartment, I had cable! The landlord just let himself in. Saturday night was really fun because the other American and I went out with some non-EF teachers to dinner at a little French place. They had bread. And cheesecake. I was in heaven.

Here's a picture of me, the hot Scotsman, and Ariel, one of the local teachers from the night when I got the singer's digits.

If you know me at all, you know the look on my face. It's the one where I'm very pleased with myself and I'm about to break out into the biggest smile you've ever seen.

2008-01-30T23:39:00.000-05:00

My oh my. Today I went for my medical check that I need in order to get my Chinese working visa. It was a hoot. First of all, it's about 50 degrees here today and this place doesn't believe in central heating. So I go to this very sterile place that's all stone - it's extra cold. First thing I have to do is to fill a cup the size of a thimble half way up with urine. Second thing they do is check my blood pressure. The one thing I hate most. As soon as someone checks my blood pressure, it increases dramatically. So the first reading was like 143 over 98 (that's high). Then they did it again, and again, and again. The I went out for them to draw my blood. They couldn't find a vein. Imagine 6 Chinese women standing around you just staring and poking you and slapping your skin. So funny. I don't mind needles, so I just told them to stick me. They didn't want to, so I went off to the suction cup machine. I had to bare my whole upper and let them stick little suction cups on my skin. I don't know what they were for. Then I went to another room where a lady poked a prodded me. Then a chest x-ray. Then the eyesight place where I had to cover one eye with a spoon. After that, an ultrasound (I'm not pregnant! Yay!). Then finally back to drawing blood. After about 15 more minutes of being poked and slapped, they finally found a vein close to my wrist. All in all, a really funny day and it's not even one o'clock.

2008-01-28T04:11:00.000-05:00

It's been quite a week in Guangzhou. Last Thursday I moved into my apartment. It's quite a long story that I will divulge right now. In order to get an apartment in a country in which you do no speak the language, you have to get an interpreter. In China, you usually go through an agency, even to rent. My interpreter's name is Terry. He's quite nice. Anyway, a little off topic there, but something about China is that the simplest things become quite complicated because of the sheer amount of paperwork you have to complete in order to do anything. You go to buy something at a store, you go up to one guy, he writes out an order form. You then go to the cashier, pay for it, and they give you a little slip of paper and a receipt. Finally you hunt someone down and demand your item. Then and only then can you take it home with you. So imagine that a year commitment would involve a little more than those steps. Thursday morning, I pack all my things and take them to school with me. Then I go to meet my interpreter and my new landlord along with the Chinese-speaking agent. It takes about two hours to get everything signed and checked out at the apartment. So, I come back to school with my new set of keys. After school (around 6:30), I go get a taxi to take me to the apartment. I get up to the 27th floor and open the first door, no problem. Then I go to open the second door and I couldn't. So, I go downstairs and use my hand signals to convince the security guard to come up and help me. He comes up and uses quite a lot of effort, but finally opens the door. I gratefully go in and commence to unpacking completely. I mean, I had the suitcase in the closet. I look around and think to myself, "Ok, now I need some toilet paper and laundry detergent." I head out to the local seven eleven to purchase these things. I come back and I'm having trouble opening the door again. I decide to try a little harder and THE KEY BREAKS OFF IN THE LOCK. I panicked a little, then called my landlady. After about two hours of sitting outside in the cold and a new lock, I finally get back in my apartment. I didn't have time to go get any bedding and it was COLD (Southern China doesn't believe in central heating). I put on several layers of clothes and try to go to sleep, but to no avail. I eventually decide to take down the curtains to use as a blanket. I probably slept about four hours. I finally can't take it anymore, I get up, and I'm like, all I need is a hot shower. I didn't cry throughout this whole thing until the water went cold.

Friday night I went and got bedding. I spent $100 on a comforter, but I was warm! I'll bring it home and use it for years. Saturday was our day off and the hot Scotsman and I went to IKEA in the morning to do a little more home furnishing shopping. After that we picked up one of the other teachers and went to a couple of malls where I bought a space heater and a DVD player. I ended Saturday by going over to my new Canadian friend's apartment and putting some of her furniture together.

We worked Sunday, then went out to a Brazilian restaurant for a going away dinner for one of the teachers. There was a two-man band, a young black guy and an older one. The older one played the guitar and sang Spanish music. He kept making eyes at me all night. One time he even winked at me. When I was leaving, the maitre'd stopped me and gave me a card with the guy's name and number on it. It was great. Then the other American teacher and I went to an EF event and drank a lot of beer. It's been fun.

2008-01-23T21:33:00.000-05:00

After my meltdown two nights ago, things are back in the fun zone. I'm moving into my apartment today. It's a little studio on the 27th floor in Capital International Apartments, about a 10 minute walk from the school. Last night was a blast. English First is the largest privately owned English company in the world and last night all of their Southern China employees celebrated Chinese New Year with Chinese food and wine. And wine, and wine, and wine, and beer. My school is definitely the fun school. We were the table that everyone hated and secretly envied. It was incredibly fun. My boss (the one that looks like Ron Weasley in about 10 years), kept getting the waiters to come to the table and fill our glasses. We "cheers"ed to pretty much everything we could think of and then to everyone at the table. They're just so much fun.

2008-01-18T05:24:00.000-05:00

Greeting all from the People's Republic of China. I have a very severe cold which I am getting over. Yesterday was the worst part of it. It's very hard to find cold medicine in China as everything is in Chinese. Finally I had to go up to the lady at the convenience store, point at the word medicine in my Chinese dictionary, and pretend to cough. She then opened this secret compartment in the wall and brought out some Tylenol Cold. I saw some apartments last night and then got a little lost trying to get on the Metro. I went the wrong way, you see. I ended up walking about half a mile out of the way, but I got on it and got home. Today I saw some more apartments and I found one that I like, about a 15 minute walk from the school. It was a studio on the 14th floor with a really great view. We'll see what the real estate company says because I wanted the price to be a little lower. The interpreter they sent offered to teach me some Mandarin for some Spanish lessons. I got his e-mail address so I hope to set that up. Did I tell you that I work with a bunch of foul-mouthed Brits and that I absolutely adore them? And did I tell you that my head boss looks like Ron Weasley in about 10 years? Cause he does and he talks like Ron too. Imagine training with him. Every few minutes I start thinking about the Ron factor and singing "Snape, Snape, Severus Snape (Dumbledore!)". It's hard out here for a pimp.

2008-01-15T23:54:00.000-05:00

My laptop truly died. I hoped I was exaggerating, but, alas, it is dead. Memorial services will be held tomorrow at 2PM. Now time for random China information.

- Staring - Chinese people stare at foreigners. Not just a little glance, but full out, "I see the spinach between your teeth staring." If you're insecure, this can be a dark place for you. However, as I am not, I just stare back and smile. In my mind, they're staring at me because I'm really cool and they like me. It is a problem however, that I tend to stare at foreigners now.

- Pigeon - Apparently the "truly Cantonese" dish happens to be fried pigeon. (pigeon = rat with wings). I had the pleasure of trying this on Sunday night. I'm having a hard time adjusting to the real Chinese food as opposed to the Americanized version that I love. Therefore, I ate Subway yesterday and it was delicious.

- Sleeping - I haven't really become adjusted to the time difference. I wake up during the middle of the night and my mind tells me that it's the middle of the afternoon. I have to make myself go back to sleep in order to be able to function the next day.

- Pick-pocketing - I think I almost got pick-pocketed yesterday when I was in the Metro. This guy comes up to me and starts talking to me in English saying that he wants to be friends with foreigners. I, always the skeptic, told him that it was kind of weird. I took his business card and told him that if I ever needed a friend, I would call him. As I was leaving, I felt someone brush past me. I look over and he and another fellow were talking and looking at me. I'm pretty sure he was trying to distract while the other got in my bag. OH NO HE DIDN'T. I keep a tight leash on that thing.

2008-01-14T22:58:00.000-05:00

My laptop died last night so rest assured that updates will be few and far between. I went to look at apartments today. He wanted to show me a 7th floor walk-up without an elevator (here on referred to as "lift"). I said no. It's been pretty fun. When I get a chance I'll write a lot more. We had our tour on Sunday and saw a lot of the city. I have to figure out where some of that is so I can visit it again.

2008-01-12T09:18:00.001-05:00

Since I'm not really sure that the photo worked, I put some on Facebook and here's the link:

Facebook Album

2008-01-12T08:59:00.001-05:00

Pictures!!!
My first day in China (from my hotel balcony right after I woke up)

Could someone please e-mail me and tell me if you can see my picture? In China it doesn't show up, but that doesn't necessarily mean it isn't there.

2008-01-12T05:00:00.000-05:00

This afternoon was so much fun. Susan, my TLC coordinator, along with Jane, a new Canadian teacher (eh?), showed up at my door around two to go on a little cell phone/bank account/picture taking/IKEA adventure. We left and went about two blocks to a place that sells cell phones. I got a new little Nokia for about 300RMB. Then we took a taxi to the tallest building in Guangzhou, which houses a huge mall called the Sky Galleria. We had our pictures taken for our visas and medical checks. Next, we went across the street one of the EF schools. There we met Craig, the SMART school coordinator for Guangzhou. Imagine, if you will, someone like Dr. Long from the INTA department or a quieter Jim Donovan. He was so nice! I don't use very many exclamation points. He was just so easy to talk to. From there we walked to IKEA. Let's just say it was awesome. China IKEA is just like Atlanta IKEA - crowded and beautiful. Because there are so many people here, sometimes you really have to push through the crowd. It makes me feel so bad because I'm pretty much pushing people out of the way. And I don't know how to say excuse me. Then we were going to take a taxi, but we walked back to the hotel instead. It was a nice little half an hour stroll. Mind you, this entire time I'm walking around with a Chinese person and a Canadian, and we're acting like the best of friends. It was so fun. On the way back Susan told us that she hadn't slept in three days. Jane and I were both shocked. She's only been working at EF as the TLC coordinator for about three weeks, but she's doing a really good job in my opinion. She's great. I would never have known how to get a cell phone or do pretty much anything without her.

Right now I'm kind of hanging out waiting for Jane so that we can go get some dinner. The funny thing is that right outside my window, about 8 stories down, they're excavating for a new building. They're setting off dynamite - my hand to Jesus. All I hear is an explosion every couple of minutes. I hope it stops before bedtime.

2008-01-11T02:00:00.000-05:00

I made it. Needless to say, it wasn't a very comfortable 30 hours of my life. The 14 hour flight was the worst, there are bruises on my hips from the seat. But now I'm in my hotel. I am soon to get a shower and a nap. That's all I can do right now.

2008-01-09T23:51:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all who showed for the goings away. I had a really great time. I'm sitting in the international terminal (5) of Chicago O'Hare right now. I can honestly say that I hate O'Hare. I had to walk about three miles to get to this terminal and then there aren't any eateries inside it, so I had to sit outside and eat.

The flight to Chicago was great. Pretty short, a little cramped. I cried for almost an hour when I got to the gate. I just sat there and looked out the window and cried. I can't really say that I'm excited about my 14 hour flight. I am excited about the tylenol PM I'm going to take in about 2 hours to help me sleep. I hope they take me straight to my hotel when I get to Guangzhou so that I can shower before we do anything else.

Well, I'm pretty wiped out. Hopefully I will be able to write on this while in China. If not, I'll find another site that works and update everyone on the address.

2007-12-30T00:14:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow marks the end of a special season in my life. I'm moving out of the Jarrett's. Right now I'm sitting in my room, well, Eli's room, thinking about how I should pack the rest of my stuff. The lamp is burning its midnight oil and I am wide awake due to a nap and sugary caffeinated beverages I had this evening. I had the epiphany yesterday that within 2 weeks I would be in China. Let me reassure you that I have done very little to prepare. As I was telling Megan today, the most planning I have done for a transcontinental move was to buy new underwear this week. I have about 10 days to get everything together, but let's face it, I perform better under pressure.

2007-11-09T09:31:00.000-05:00

My diploma is on order! Now only a few weeks until I can send in for my visa. In other news, I'm the newest employee at the Sears in Arbor Place mall. I can barely contain my excitement.

2007-11-06T10:46:00.000-05:00

The things I need to get my visa:

- a diploma (story on that: my original diploma was ruined in the mail and in order to get a teaching visa, I have to have my original diploma. I've been in contact with the diploma reorder office and they say it will take at least four weeks to get it)
- a signed letter of reference from a previous employer
- a copy of my passport (I actually have this already)
- a list of two contactable professional references

Things I need/want for China:
- tennis shoes (got them last week)
- a new digital camera
- a large memory card for said digital camera
- a laptop sleeve so I don't have to carry my laptop case
- toiletries to last a year (you just can't get certain things over there and I'm very picky as to what I put on my body)
- a power converter for all my electronics